Oh God, save me from my third world parents

And from the plastic bottled water that's kept my life and sex life on a chokehold abd more importantly from people like my parents who don't appreciate the dangers of plastic and drinking out of it. They're so dumb and they own me. Literally. I can't do anything without their permission and I'm 31.

I can't believe the horrible shit that's happened to me.

Anyway, prayed for Marissa Mayer.